Ruthless self-trust

"I'm the softest & most ruthless I've ever been" has been a meme circulating around the Internet - but what does it mean, in practice?

What is ruthlessness? To me, the word association comes from a Hollywood movie where Russian bandits shoot their AKs left & right.

A more applicable, everyday reality though is that ruthlessness is about how we make choices. And the best, most integrated way we can make a choice is to stay true to ourselves. That means: feel what your inner compass is showing you - located in your gut or heart, most often - and make a decision based on whether it agrees with the suggested direction.

Sometimes, when we quiet our mind chatter down and allow ourselves to listen, the same compass may even come up with an alternative suggestion, rooted in your truth, that the mind couldn't even imagine before.

The next step is to follow this truth.

The mind will be important to navigate the seas while you’re on your way there, put a lifeboat & a few jackets on board, safety handles to grab if needed… but it's the gut that's showing the way. If we stray from it, we can always return - but we shouldn't abandon the path altogether, as it's fraught with consequences dire for your happiness and mental wellbeing.

It's your life's purpose & pleasure, joy and wisdom which are at stake - your soul's deepest desires! You’d better not compromise on these.

For this reason, to stay committed to the path of the inner compass - the path of soul, heart, gut or whatever word you choose for yourself - you need the ruthlessness to go through the obstacles. To be able to stand up each time, breathe out and come back to sail on. The ruthlessness, rooted in deep appreciation of your inner compass; the respect of the wisdom of your gut; deep love of your soul - your self.

Obstacles are here to help you learn your self.

When on our path, we may find people and other creatures who show us something important, which will feel like an obstacle. Sometimes they'll be blocking our way & ask us to make different choices.

So ruthlessness grounded in your deep love for yourself will be required to take full responsibility for your own choices: because every creature, every obstacle on our path is just a mirror of a part we may or may not be aware of just yet.

Every such obstacle may be perceived as a tough hurdle - and while it’s true, it can be really difficult to deal with all the emotions that arise in its presence - its ultimate goal here is to allow us to get to know ourselves even better, and appreciate our path even more. To uncover a new part of us which has been here all along - we just haven’t been noticing or accepting it yet.

In reality, nobody's really blocking us; it's us who choose to be blocked.

If you're staying in a toxic job and think you cannot leave - why is it you aren't leaving? Is there anything else this job should show you about yourself before you make the decision? What's truly blocking you - your boss, financial situation... or anything else deeper rooted within you?

Of course, when it's an abusive relationship, which is dangerous to your health - you must leave immediately and bring yourself back to safety; don't wait, it's enough. Saving yourself is the most important skill you can develop right now.

However, when we're in less physical or emotional danger, it can be helpful to go deeper into the roots of the real issue at hand, until you're ready to leave.

When you're ready and have learnt the lesson, that obstacle reaches an expiry date - and you feel it in your gut (and maybe, in your exhale).

You can continue now: (if needed) set the boundary and, with a lot of gratitude for the lesson, move on with your path - stronger, softer, more ruthless than you've ever been.